All the top Funny and Fake people to follow on Twitter.

darthvader
Evil Orphan Annie™
  • Merry Sithmas to you and yours!
    10 weeks 6 days ago
  • "What to my wondering eyes would I spy, But a speeder-sleigh, being pulled by eight ghost Jedi" - http://bit.ly/92Pu4V
    10 weeks 6 days ago
  • Leave them to me. I will deal them myself - http://bit.ly/5j4smZ
    11 weeks 9 hours ago
  • Someone ask @FernandoDANTE if he thinks being blocked from my tweets makes me more or LESS funny than I used to be.
    11 weeks 3 days ago
  • She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid. - http://bit.ly/8r6fQX
    12 weeks 4 days ago
Borat
I make Sexy Time!

jackbauer
If everyone listened to my instructions, it'd be called '12'
  • Baby Einstein products worthless. Hoping Chloe has lowdown on product that'll teach granddaughter to start calling me grandpa, not 'Jack'.
    18 weeks 3 days ago
  • Constantly being reminded to use my inside voice. "WHERE IS THE CEREAL?!" doesn't fly anymore during breakfast.
    19 weeks 2 days ago
  • Who the fuck is Chris Wallace and why's he with me on Waterboarding? I shove rags down throats, not this kiddie pool crap.
    27 weeks 3 days ago
  • So, not so much of a quadruple agent, what's the word for 3 1/2's? With the half leaning towards us-ish? Heck with it, I'm on vacation now.
    42 weeks 1 day ago
  • If Tony is a quadruple agent, I'm going to hug him, then beat his ass down. If he isn't, I'm going to do one of the actions above.
    43 weeks 37 min ago
WilliamShatner2
Shatner's "real" account is @WilliamShatner
  • (and in case that last post was unclear: I'm thrilled there's now an "official" Shatner account. I'll continue posting satirical stuff here)
    1 year 36 weeks ago
  • Hey all! I've happily relenquished my account to (i.e. "been ousted by") the "real" William Shatner! He (or his rep) is here:@WilliamShatner
    1 year 36 weeks ago
  • Don't think I'm unaware of the impact of California's gay marriage laws on your precious slash fiction. Nimoy and I are close. That's all.
    1 year 37 weeks ago
  • "William Shatner doesn't own an iPod, because he would just talk it into self-destructing." - @weirdsmobile
    1 year 43 weeks ago
  • "William Shatner isn't bald, he's too sexy for his hair." - @weirdsmobile
    1 year 43 weeks ago

TheCoPresident
You can have my White House when you pry from my cold dead hands.
  • RT @eddiee133: @TheCoPresident "fake!". Leave my legamacy out of this!
    20 weeks 6 days ago
  • RT @ewerickson "Linda Douglass really is the Joseph Goebbels of the White House Health Care shop." I loved Goebbels in Jurassic Park I & II!
    21 weeks 3 days ago
  • RT @ObamaResistance "Back from the dark liberal side of twitter. In that world @TheCoPresident passes for comedy!"
    27 weeks 3 days ago
  • Oh man, I gotta pee. Time to water the tree of liberty in my back yard! (You can't hear me, I think, but I'm laughin' very unquietly!)
    29 weeks 1 day ago
  • If God wants all of us to have health care, he will buy all of us policies. That ain't gonna happen, so sucks to be uninsured, unlike me!
    29 weeks 1 day ago
VILE
Tweeting as a gift to all involved in the creation of Carmen Sandiego: Gary & Doug Carlston, Lauren Elliott, Gene Portwood,...
  • Vandals removed the head of 'The Little Mermaid' statue in Copenhagen.. twice. The latest occurrence was 1998.
    12 weeks 1 day ago
  • There are two full moons this month. One was on Dec. 2, and the other on New Year's Eve 2009. Happy 'Blue Moon'.
    13 weeks 2 days ago
  • Africa has at least three 'eyes'. Two of which are to the extreme east and west of the world's largest desert.
    14 weeks 5 days ago
  • Name a road so dramatic, it inspired a soundtrack-- Edvard Grieg's "Hall of the Mountain King"--to be precise.
    15 weeks 4 days ago
  • Name a famous luxury department store that will have you escorted outside for eating ice cream on its premises?
    17 weeks 10 hours ago