All the top Funny and Fake people to follow on Twitter.

darthvader
Evil Orphan Annie™
  • Merry Sithmas to you and yours!
    2 years 5 weeks ago
  • "What to my wondering eyes would I spy, But a speeder-sleigh, being pulled by eight ghost Jedi" - http://bit.ly/92Pu4V
    2 years 6 weeks ago
  • Leave them to me. I will deal them myself - http://bit.ly/5j4smZ
    2 years 6 weeks ago
  • Someone ask @FernandoDANTE if he thinks being blocked from my tweets makes me more or LESS funny than I used to be.
    2 years 6 weeks ago
  • She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid. - http://bit.ly/8r6fQX
    2 years 7 weeks ago
Borat
I make Sexy Time!

jackbauer
If everyone listened to my instructions, it'd be called '12'
  • Baby Einstein products worthless. Hoping Chloe has lowdown on product that'll teach granddaughter to start calling me grandpa, not 'Jack'.
    2 years 13 weeks ago
  • Constantly being reminded to use my inside voice. "WHERE IS THE CEREAL?!" doesn't fly anymore during breakfast.
    2 years 14 weeks ago
  • Who the fuck is Chris Wallace and why's he with me on Waterboarding? I shove rags down throats, not this kiddie pool crap.
    2 years 22 weeks ago
  • So, not so much of a quadruple agent, what's the word for 3 1/2's? With the half leaning towards us-ish? Heck with it, I'm on vacation now.
    2 years 37 weeks ago
  • If Tony is a quadruple agent, I'm going to hug him, then beat his ass down. If he isn't, I'm going to do one of the actions above.
    2 years 38 weeks ago
WilliamShatner2
Shatner's "real" account is @WilliamShatner
  • (and in case that last post was unclear: I'm thrilled there's now an "official" Shatner account. I'll continue posting satirical stuff here)
    3 years 31 weeks ago
  • Hey all! I've happily relenquished my account to (i.e. "been ousted by") the "real" William Shatner! He (or his rep) is here:@WilliamShatner
    3 years 31 weeks ago
  • Don't think I'm unaware of the impact of California's gay marriage laws on your precious slash fiction. Nimoy and I are close. That's all.
    3 years 33 weeks ago
  • "William Shatner doesn't own an iPod, because he would just talk it into self-destructing." - @weirdsmobile
    3 years 38 weeks ago
  • "William Shatner isn't bald, he's too sexy for his hair." - @weirdsmobile
    3 years 38 weeks ago

TheCoPresident
You can have my White House when you pry from my cold dead hands.
  • RT @eddiee133: @TheCoPresident "fake!". Leave my legamacy out of this!
    2 years 15 weeks ago
  • RT @ewerickson "Linda Douglass really is the Joseph Goebbels of the White House Health Care shop." I loved Goebbels in Jurassic Park I & II!
    2 years 16 weeks ago
  • RT @ObamaResistance "Back from the dark liberal side of twitter. In that world @TheCoPresident passes for comedy!"
    2 years 22 weeks ago
  • Oh man, I gotta pee. Time to water the tree of liberty in my back yard! (You can't hear me, I think, but I'm laughin' very unquietly!)
    2 years 24 weeks ago
  • If God wants all of us to have health care, he will buy all of us policies. That ain't gonna happen, so sucks to be uninsured, unlike me!
    2 years 24 weeks ago
VILE
Tweeting as a gift to all involved in the creation of Carmen Sandiego: Gary & Doug Carlston, Lauren Elliott, Gene Portwood,...
  • Vandals removed the head of 'The Little Mermaid' statue in Copenhagen.. twice. The latest occurrence was 1998.
    2 years 7 weeks ago
  • There are two full moons this month. One was on Dec. 2, and the other on New Year's Eve 2009. Happy 'Blue Moon'.
    2 years 8 weeks ago
  • Africa has at least three 'eyes'. Two of which are to the extreme east and west of the world's largest desert.
    2 years 9 weeks ago
  • Name a road so dramatic, it inspired a soundtrack-- Edvard Grieg's "Hall of the Mountain King"--to be precise.
    2 years 10 weeks ago
  • Name a famous luxury department store that will have you escorted outside for eating ice cream on its premises?
    2 years 12 weeks ago